Ron Costello

Thursday, September 6, 2018

There's not much difference between the following two expressions:

Your goose is cooked.
You're a dead duck.

Both are old expressions mostly used today by people over 50. Both use fowl to make a point that — for whatever reason — things don't look good.

Like the Phillies.

Cooked goose or dead duck — both are no longer breathing. With three weeks left in the season, the team appears tired, disinterested, lifeless, and, frankly, dead ducks.

BUT, and it's a big but, there's another fowl expression: Ducks taste the same whether they're shot sitting or flying.  

In other words, in my twisted thinking as a lifetime card-carrying member of the Faithful, the Phillies — in a division so weak no team, even the Nationals with arguably the best rotation in the NL, can get to the top.

With the exception of the Atlanta Braves. But in this division, the exception proves the rule.

The Phillies could stumble into the postseason flying or sitting. I mean, stranger things have happened. Perhaps their manager, as different as chalk and grease, might just will them in.

If you listen to Gabe Kapler, the Phillies are on the verge of winning the World Series, even though they haven't won a season series — yes even against Miami, 30 games under .500 — since August 4.   One reason? The 'Big Fella' has been collecting hits like a democrat collecting votes in Alabama.

Perhaps today, in the rubber game against the Mets, Mr. Velasquez can even his record to 10-10 and get a series win on the road in New York.

For the Phillies, it's as necessary as for the butterfly to escape from the worm to become a butterfly.

Get it?

If there's one player in my mind that represents the twisting turning season of the Phillies, it's Zach Eflin. Remember not long ago when the Baltimore Orioles were auctioning off Manny Machado, and supposedly offered Mr. Machado even up for Mr. Eflin, and the Phillies said "drop dead," which means to die suddenly.

But last night Eflin seemed to be throwing batting practice against the Mets. As the number three man in the rotation behind Mr.  Nola and Señor Arietta, he now appears to be missing the boat, and I hope it's not the  Duck Boat. Especially the one on the Delaware.

All in all, this expression can sum up the Phillies futile quest to win a minor league division with three weeks left: 

He who doesn't have a dog hunts with a cat.

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